Appearances
by saxophonist baby
Summary: Originally a one-shot but added chpt 2 per request Reid goes off with the team for a case sick but not thinking much of it, eventually causing Hotch guilt because of it. Not my best shot; was an english assignment i had to turn in for class. Please review
1. Chapter

Appearances are like a double-edged sword. They can be so telling to a person's every feeling and every thought. Yet, at the same time they could be used as a mask as the person hides behind a facade of lies. This was something I had come to learn in my many years as an agent in the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and even more so when I was transferred to the Behavioral Analysis Unit (BAU). We were taught to discern the serial killer's nature by the appearance of his victims but at the same time not to be fooled by the killer's innocent appearance.

I rushed into the BAU's conference room, our media liaison, JJ, had a new case to brief us on. When we were all seated, she began her presentation, the gory pictures of the victims splashed across the screen. I gasped in horror as I took in the awful sight. The victims had each been burnt beyond recognition in a tub of acid and viscously stabbed sixty-two times. I could feel my teammate,Prentiss, shaking like a leaf beside me. I scanned the room and saw two of my other teammates, Derek and Rossi, with their hands over their mouths, their eyes wide with shock. Finally my eyes landed on the youngest member of our team, Spencer Reid. He was swallowing convulsively, trying hard to keep his breakfast down. Something else about him stood out, he looked paler this morning; his dark eye circles were a stark contrast to his pale skin. His hair stood out at awkward angles, as if he had not been able to comb it that morning. Just as I was watching him, his hand flew up to his mouth. He dashed out of the room and ran towards the toilets.

"Hotch, what's your opinion on the killer?" Dave asked, drawing me back to reality.

I stared at the pictures imagining what it would have been like if I were a victim. I saw him stab them over and over in my head like a never-ending nightmare. These victims had been through hell before they died.

"The appearance of these victims suggests that the killer had a truly sadistic nature. All the stab wounds were deep enough to inflict a great amount of pain yet not to kill. The victims were alive up till the point where they were thrown into the acid bath. He watched his victims burn slowly, their flesh bubbling in the acid." I commented.

Just as I had stopped talking, Reid came back into the room looking a little paler, if at all possible, than earlier.

"Are you alright?" I asked, "You don't look so good."

"I'm fine, just stayed up too late reading a book," he replied.

He straightened up in his seat and began flipping through the case file. He appeared to be fine, a little tired at most. Deciding that my worries were unfounded, I let them slide. That was one of the biggest mistakes I would make on this case.

An hour later, we were on the airplane that would take us to Los Angeles where we would be working the case. All of us were asleep or trying to sleep as we knew that once we landed the chances of sleep were slim. We had to work fast, the murderer had killed five victims in ten days and we only had another forty-four hours to catch him before he killed again. Glancing over at Reid, I realized he appeared even more exhausted. Deciding that it was probably my mind playing tricks on me, I pushed my worries to the back of my mind and fell asleep.

As we filed off the airplane, I saw Reid sway and grab onto the wall of the airplane for support. I rushed over and helped support him till he could stand on his own two feet without keeling over. Now I knew something was not right. He appeared exhausted, yet flushed with fever with beads of sweat trickling down his forehead as his body tried to bring down his temperature. I reached my hand up to his forehead placing it there, trying to ascertain how high his temperature really was. Shocked at the heat radiating from him, I quickly withdrew my hand.

"You're sick!" I exclaimed.

He shook his head as once again he tried to straighten his back and appear as if he was perfectly alright. I shook my head, he should never have come on this case if he had not been feeling well. Now he would end up as a liability to the team instead of an asset. I ordered him to check in to the hotel that we would be staying at and to recover before joining us again in the field. He had refused at first but I was adamant. Eventually he relented and picked up his bag to head to the hotel. That was the last I saw of him till I was able to reach the hotel that night.

Due to a shortage of rooms, I had been forced to share a room with Reid. After bidding goodnight to the rest of my team, I trudged towards my room, completely drained from the day's activities. Although the appearances of the victims were difficult to stomach, the appearance I had hated seeing the most that day was those of the grieving parents. The look of helplessness, loss and grief on their faces were enough to rip my heart to shreds. Little did I know that soon I would be in the same situation as them.

Opening the door, I stepped into the room and was greeted by the sight of Spencer huddled under a pile of comforters, shivering violently. I swore as I grabbed the thermometer, prying open his mouth to stick it in. He struggled, unable to focus on what was going on, trying to get the foreign object out of his mouth. I held him down as he fought the urge to get up and rip the thermometer out of his mouth. Finally, it beeped, I pulled the offensive object out, hoping that it would be enough to relax him. The thermometer showed a reading of forty degrees celsius. I felt Spencer tugging on my arm and looked down to see him struggling to tell me that this neck felt so stiff that it hurt to move. I knelt down beside him, trying to calm him down. Afraid that he might be suffering from meningitis, I urged him to move his head down, to the side and up. He found that he was unable to do any of it. I peeled the covers off him and lifted up his shirt revealing the nasty purple blotches that had begun appearing on his upper abdomen and along his arms. Recognizing the symptoms of bacterial meningitis, I whipped out my hand phone and called an ambulance.

There was a whir of activity after that. Derek who had noticed the door to my hotel room open came in to see me hovering over Spencer who was writhing in agony. Quickly he organized the team and as soon as the ambulance appeared in a whir of lights and whisked Spencer off to the hospital, we all got in our cars and followed behind. We were brought to a waiting room where we were told to wait patiently for a doctor or nurse to update us on Spencer's condition. I was overwhelmed with fear. I felt loss and scared, unsure of what would become of my beloved teammate. After five impossibly long hours, the doctor came out and confirmed my suspicions. Spencer had indeed caught bacterial meningitis, and was now hanging onto his life by a thin thread. The doctor also told us that he wished we had brought him in earlier as then the side effects would not have been as adverse.

He appeared so pathetic, so lost in the multitude of tubes sticking out of him. I sat heavily down in the chair next to beside his bed, sighing and running my hands over my face. His appearance was one of pure misery, seeing him like this filled me with regret. Guilt began eating at me from the inside out as I realized that I should have taken more note of his appearance. I cursed myself for not thinking of going back with him to the hotel, for not stopping him from getting on the airplane in the first place and for my negligence in caring for him. A list of after-effects of contracting bacterial meningitis ran through my head. Blindness, deafness, loss of hearing and the list just go on and on. Staring at him, I vowed from that day on I would always take note of my teammate's appearances and never be negligent in my care for them ever again.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note:

I realize some of the facts about meningitis don't make sense but that's because I have never had any personal experience with it as such can only try to make it as accurate as possible. Oh and let's just say that someone in Aaron Hotchner's college dorm ever died of meningitis so he knows the symptoms.

I heard the door swing open and turned to see JJ and Morgan come in. JJ's eyes were glassed over with tears that she was so obviously trying to hold back.

"What did the doctor say?" I asked anxiously.

JJ opened her mouth to speak but all that came out was a harsh sob as tears rolled down her cheeks. Morgan wrapped his arms around her, allowing her to cry on his shoulder. I felt the blood rush from my veins; the doctor must have had some really bad news.

Morgan sighed, "The doctor said that they were going to try a new drug on him. If it works, he'll heal, it'll take a while but he'll heal. If not, we may only have 24 hours left with him."

I clenched my fist, and pressed it against my mouth willing myself not to appear as broken on the outside as I felt on the inside in front of my team. Looking outside the ward, I saw Rossi with his arms wrapped around himself, a frown upon his face as two lone tears rolled down his face. Emily and Penelope were on the ground in a heap sobbing helplessly into each other's embrace. I stood up and walked out of the room, I had to get away from that place. I found my legs carrying me to somewhere I hadn't had the time to go to in a while. I walked to a church and straight up to the front of the sanctuary.

Collapsing onto my knees, I knelt and prayed, pleading that God would return Spencer to us, that he wouldn't die because I didn't take enough notice of his appearance. I wept and prayed not having the clarity of mind to do anything else. When my tears had finally run dry, I noticed Derek and JJ on the ground next to me in similar positions. As they looked up, I took their hands and we knelt in a circle as we prayed aloud the same prayer we all had in our hearts. That our little boy genius be all right. We must have prayed for at least an hour before I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Excusing myself, I picked up Rossi's call.

"Spencer's waking up," he whispered excitedly over the phone.

Anxious to be the first people he saw when he woke up, we rushed back to the hospital. Seeing our team outside Reid's ward, we quickened our footsteps.

"What's going on with pretty boy?" Morgan questioned.

"The doctor's checking him up. Maybe the medicine is working," said a hopeful Garcia.

After an excruciating ten minutes, the doctor finally stepped out of Reid's ward with a smile stretched across his face. I heard my team breathe sighs of relief around me, but I still held my breath, not willing to give myself any false hope on what Reid's fate might be.

"Dr Spencer Reid has responded miraculously well to the medicine, barring any complications, he should make a few recovery in a month and can be discharged in a week. However, he will be very weak until he has made a full recovery, so it would be best if someone could look after him."

Hearing the doctor say those words, I nodded and finally expelled that breath I had been holding in. Eagerly, the team rushed into the ward where a pale faced Spencer Reid sat waving at us.

"I feel funny," he stated.

"You're gonna be ok Spence, just rest," JJ assured him.

We hung around for about 5 minutes till Reid began nodding off and I chased the rest of the team back to the station to wrap up the case. Sitting by his bedside, I slowly dozed off, dreaming of how Jake would take to a weary Spencer.

At around midnight, I heard a dry cough coming from Spencer. I immediately jolted myself awake and handed him a glass of water.

"Hotch?" he said, looking at me with puppy dog eyes. "I don't wanna stay here, it makes me think of how my mum has to stay somewhere like this everyday, but if I discharge myself I know there'll be no one to take care of me at home. I…I don't know what to do. I've never read a book on how to fix something like this before."

I leaned in closer to him, pulling him in for a big bear hug.

"Don't worry, Spence. We'll get you outta here as soon as we can and when you do get out you'll stay with me, I'll take care of you. You don't need a book to learn about these kinda things, the team and I will show you. Finally, we know something you don't and we'll teach you so you can learn from experience." I chuckled.

"Really? Hotch, you don't have to. I was just talking too much, I can take care of myself." Spencer tried to protest, though he sounded unsure of himself.

I smoothed down his hair. "I'm sure. Now don't worry about it and get some sleep, you can barely keep your eyes open as it is." I replied smiling wanly.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hey guys . Thanks for all the awesome reviews…sorry I waited awhile to post this…I'm currently in the middle of my mock exams to gear me up for a national exam at the end of the year which explains they delay…I'll try my best to be more regular. Continue reviewing please

A week later...

I walked into Reid's ward to see him zipping his bag wearily.

"Ready to go?" I asked.

"Actually, could we wait awhile? I'm kinda tired and I doubt I'll be able to stay awake on my feet long enough to reach the car." Reid replied with his eyelids drooping close.

I walked out of the ward and grabbed a wheelchair. Wheeling it in, I noticed Reid's eyes grow wider.

"Hotch, I'm not disabled," he said.

"No but you're too tired to walk and you'd feel much better sleeping in a proper bed rather than a hospital one." I remarked while piling him and his go-bag in the wheelchair "Besides, we have wheels up in 30."

I pushed him out to the SUV where Morgan waited behind the wheel. Once we had loaded Reid and his bag into the SUV we were off to the airport.

When we were on the plane, I marveled at how the team out of heir way to make sure Reid was comfortable. The entire team avoided the couch to allow Reid to lie down and rest. Once he had laid down, Emily brought him a cup of tea while Dave came in with a blanket that JJ used to tuck him in. Penelope had already set up a laptop with the all 5 seasons of Dharma and Greg, telling him that he could keep the laptop till the month over so he'd have something to laugh at in bed. Only when Spencer repeatedly assured them that he was comfortable, did they allow themselves to sit down and focus on things other than him. In the middle of the flight, I looked up from the case file to see Spencer curled in on himself asleep. His cup of tea only half-drunk was long forgotten. He hadn't even gotten through one episode of the show.

A few hours later, we had finally landed. With Derek's and JJ's help, I managed to wake a rather grumpy Reid and lug him to my car.

Upon reaching home, I spotted Jack at the dinner table waiting to dig into his mac and cheese.

"Hey Buddy!" I exclaimed, happy to see my son again.

"Daddy!" He cried, running towards me with a wide-toothed grin.

Jack grabbed my legs and pulled me into a tight hug. Picking him up, I hugged him hard.

"Spency!" he screamed, noticing Reid for the first time since we stepped into the house.

Once the squirming Jack was placed down, he ran towards Reid, pouncing on him in a big hug. The overtired Reid who was barely steady on his feet as it was got knocked over onto the couch. As Reid fell back onto the couch, bringing Jack with him, Jack squealed excitedly thinking it was a game.

"Hey Jack!" Reid said, trying to sound as excited as Jack was.

"Help!" he mouthed to me.

Laughing, I pulled Jack off of him. After telling Jack to go wait at the table, I helped Reid get settled in the guest room. Reid fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow. Deciding that he would probably just fall asleep in his dinner if I tried to make him eat now, I pulled the blankets over him and switched off the lights as I went to join my son at the table.

"Where's Spency, Daddy?" Jack asked while shoveling a spoonful of Mac and cheese into his mouth.

"In the room sleeping." I replied.

"Spency not gonna eat dinner?" He asked, eyes wide with concern.

"Maybe he will later," I said. "Jack, uncle Spencer's gonna be staying with us for awhile ok? He's sick and needs someone to take care of him, can u help me?"

"Spency sick? Does he feel really icky like when I get sick?"

"I don't know. You can ask him when he wakes up."

"Ok," he replied, satisfied for the time being and turned his attention back to his dinner.


End file.
